A Promise Broken?
by Sunny Hunny
Summary: One Shot. It's been over a month since James left. He hasn't returned, but then one day Sirius shows up at her flat with news. Sequel to A Promise Made. Complete.


This is the sequel to A Promise Made. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. And obviously I own nothing.

**A Promise Broken?**

Lily sighed, tiredly blowing her hair out of her face as she did so. She was sitting at the desk in St. Mungo's, looking over the chart of one of her patients, elbow on the desk, her head resting on her hand. She had been sitting like this for the past half hour, and she had read over the chart 4 times, but she hadn't really processed any information. She was so exhausted. Another double-shift, her third this week: that was her life now. She knew that she had patients to check on, but for now she allowed herself to close her eyes briefly, trying to forget why she didn't want to go home.

And then she was jolted awake by a poke to her shoulder, and she sat erect in her chair. She looked up guiltily into the sympathetic face of her boss. She hated that face. It was the face everyone wore when looking at her these days, the one that said they were clearly afraid she would break down any minute. She opened her mouth to apologize, but Patrick Jones cut her off with a soft, "Go home, Lily." And there it was: the tone that everyone used with her, the one that went hand-in-hand with the face. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to nod off. It won't happen again. I just have to finish going over these charts and then I'll do my rounds."

"Forget it, Lily. Just go home. Take a week's vacation and get some rest."

"I'm fine, sir," she protested, barely able to conceal her yawn. "I don't need a vacation, really."

"Okay then," he replied. "In that case I'm putting you on a mandatory leave of absence. I'm ordering you to go home and get some rest."

"But sir – "

"Evans, if I so much as see your face in the next week, I'll extend it to a month."

She blinked hard to fight the tears that she felt coming. "Yes, sir," she replied softly, barely a whisper. She didn't trust herself to speak right now. She didn't protest when Patrick moved to grab the patient's chart from her. She didn't have the strength anymore. She sleepily rose from her seat, yawning as she did so, and made her way to the locker room, practically comatose. In zombie-like motions, she removed the lanyard from around her neck, using the key to open the locker. She removed her purse and closed the locker again. She then made her way out of the hospital, ignoring the stares that followed her. She could feel their pity, and she didn't want it.

She didn't trust herself to apparate right now, knowing that in her exhausted state she'd probably splinch herself, so she made her way down the streets on foot. Besides, she was in no hurry to get back to an empty flat.

Lily knew that she was wearing herself thin, and she couldn't help but think how unlike her it was. She had always taken care of herself, always been sure to get enough rest and stay healthy. But a month ago, everything had changed, and her health didn't matter anymore. She had worked more double-shifts in the past month than she had her entire career at St. Mungo's before that. She knew that she needed to slow down, but it hurt too much when she did and was left with nothing but a lonely apartment and the thought that he wasn't coming back.

The first weeks after he had left for the raid, she had been optimistic. She had smiled constantly, never once doubting that he would return soon and they could start a relationship. After all, he had promised, and James Potter was not the type to break promises. She longed for his kiss, for his touch, and she dreamed about him at night. But then her world had come crashing down around her the day Sirius had shown up at her apartment.

She had found it odd for him to be there, since she hadn't spoken to him since Hogwarts, just like she hadn't spoken to James until last month. But she opened the door and wordlessly let him in anyway, curious and slightly eager to hear what he had to say. He had gone on the raid too, so this must mean that the team had returned safely.

They each took a seat, her on the sofa and him on the chair, and she offered him something to drink, which he declined. They fell into an eerie silence, and Lily started to feel uneasy, but she pushed the feeling aside. Everything was fine, she had insisted to herself. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, she spoke up. She wanted to ask why he was here instead of James, but she thought it might come off as rude, so instead she asked, "Where's James, Sirius?"

He cast his gaze down to the floor, and it felt like her heart sank into her stomach. She was starting to worry now, and she wished that he would just tell her where James was so she could go to him. She now noticed the look on his face, the sad, helpless one that he had worn since his arrival but that she had previously ignored, and she felt her throat starting to close up. She opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come, so she closed it again and took a few deep breaths. Finally she managed to speak, but her voice was scratchy. "Sirius?"

She almost felt his heart break for her when he looked up at her, his eyes full of grief. He moved to sit beside her on the sofa, and she held her breath as he carefully wrapped an arm around her. "I'm sorry, Lily," he whispered, and his words broke the carefully built dam inside her. The tears started to flow, and when he pulled her into his embrace, she could do nothing but sob into his shoulder.

When her breathing returned to normal, she pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes, not surprised to see that his cheeks were also wet. She wanted to ask what had happened, but it was too soon. She knew that words would fail both of them, so she simply turned her body and laid her head on his shoulder. They remained like that, grieving together, he for the best friend that he had ever known, and she for the love that she had never known.

He slept on her couch that night, and in the morning, she awoke early after crying herself to sleep. She made her way to the kitchenette and started making breakfast. He awoke soon to the smell of pancakes, and he got up, stretched, and moved to sit at the kitchen table. He watched her as she worked, until finally she joined him, placing two plates on the table and sitting down. They ate in silence, and she cleared the table when they were done. She placed the dishes in the sink, but instead of washing them like she normally would, she simply moved to sit down again at the kitchen table with him.

"We raided Voldemort's hideout," he began after some time. She nodded but stayed silent, encouraging him to continue. "But it didn't go as planned, and the whole team ended up in a holding cell…everyone except James. No one knew what had happened to him. I don't know how long we were there, but it was a few days, and we were all starving and exhausted and starting to lose hope. I honestly thought I was going to die in there. And then Voldemort came down. It was strange, because only his Death Eaters had been to the cell up to that point.

"He said something, but I was so out of it that I couldn't comprehend what, and then he cast some spell on us, all of us together. I thought that was it, and I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to die the way I should – fighting against the very thing I had been born into. But I woke up a few days later in the Leaky Cauldron, very confused and disoriented. In the next few hours I found out enough to piece together what had happened.

"According to Tom, all 25 Aurors had been found unconscious in the middle of the street in Diagon Alley. He took us all in. We weren't really injured, other than starved and weak. When I finally woke up and he filled me in, I knew something terrible had happened. 26 Aurors had been sent on the raid. I asked Tom to tell me who had been found, and he looked at me like I was crazy, but I frantically repeated the question 3 times and he started to list off names. And it was as I had suspected; everyone had been found except James. I've talked to some of the others, and we think that Voldemort's spell was to transport us out. We're not sure why, but I think it has something to do with James. It's the only explanation that makes any sense. He's missing, and there must be a really good reason why we're still alive. Voldemort doesn't leave survivors.

"We're going to look for James, Lily," he said finally. "But I thought I should let you know first. In case I don't come back."

She looked at him sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes. She wanted to tell him not to go, that there was no reason for him to die too, but she couldn't, so she simply nodded. He got up and hugged her tightly again, and then he was gone and she was alone.

Lily was now approaching her flat, and though she dreaded going in, she knew that it was time to face the hurt. She unlocked the door with a nonverbal spell, and she sighed as she took off her shoes and gazed around at her home. It barely felt like a home anymore, and it didn't look like one either. It barely looked lived-in. There were no dishes in the sink, because she couldn't bear to cook for just herself, not after she had fleetingly thought that maybe from now on, she would be cooking for two. The answering machine was blinking with unheard messages, the blanket that Sirius had used was folded and draped neatly across the back of the sofa, and his pillow had been placed at the end. She hadn't touched them since that morning.

She hated herself for never having given into him when they were at Hogwarts. She hated herself for not calling him after he had given her his number at the train station. She hated herself because she could have had so much time to love him, to be with him, and now she would probably never get the chance.

She dropped her purse on the floor by the door and made her way to the bedroom, finally collapsing on the bed and falling into a much-needed sleep.

She awoke later to a loud noise, and for a moment she thought that she was still at the hospital, but she quickly realized that she was in bed and that the noise was someone knocking on her door. She got up and stretched, making her way to the door. When she opened it, she found Sirius on the other side. She stepped aside silently, and she had a sense of déjà vu as they moved to sit down, once again with her on the sofa and him in the chair.

"He was acting really weird when we left for the raid," Sirius began after some time, and Lily closed her eyes, letting his words wash over her and trying not to cry again. "He had this look in his eyes like he had something to fight for, but like at the same time he was rethinking the whole thing. I could tell that something important had happened, but I didn't get the chance to ask him about it until later, when we were outside Voldemort's hideout waiting for the signal to enter. He seemed so distracted, so finally I asked him what was wrong. He tried to deny that anything had happened, but I know him better than that, you know?" She nodded, and he continued.

"He finally told me about your encounter at the Three Broomsticks. He had this smile on his face when he told me, like he was finally going to get what he wanted most in the world. And I think he was.

"Lily, the ministry is going to declare him dead in a week." She couldn't stop the tears from flowing at these words, and she couldn't be bothered to try anyway. He wanted to embrace her, to try to help her in her time of need, but he knew that he had to give her the item in his pocket. It was more important right now.

"We couldn't find him when we went back. The place was deserted; not even Voldemort or his Death Eaters were there. But we did find something, and I'm sure that James would have wanted you to have it."

He pulled a small bag from his pocket and put it on the table in front of her. She stared at the bag for a few moments, simultaneously wanting and not wanting to open it. She didn't want to open it and have to accept that he was gone, but at the same time, she had a feeling that she needed to see it. She finally made a decision, and reached out shakily for the bag. She pulled a small, black box out of it, and her heart skipped a beat. This couldn't be what it looked like. She lifted her gaze to meet Sirius' and he nodded at her, encouraging her. She nervously placed the bag back on the table, her eyes never leaving the box in her hand. Slowly, she opened it, revealing the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen.

She felt a sob catch in her throat, and she just stared at the ring, nestled snugly in the black satin. She couldn't bring herself to say anything. Nothing could do justice to the moment.

Sirius cleared his throat, and she listened without taking her eyes off the ring. "It was his mother's ring. He always carried it with him. He never said why, but I think it was to carry a bit of his mum around with him. He told me that day that he was waiting to give it to the woman he would marry. He'd always hoped it would be you, ever since his mum had given it to him, but when you told him that you loved him, that was it. He knew then and there that one day, he was going to put that ring on your finger. I think that he would have asked you in the Three Broomsticks if he'd thought you'd say yes." He sighed. "I realize that this isn't the same, Lily, but I thought that you should have it."

She nodded and then gave him a watery smile, thanking him with her eyes. He reached over and squeezed her free hand, then got up without another word and let himself out.

She stared for a long time at the ring, unable to tear her gaze away. She couldn't believe that he had loved her so much that he wanted to marry her. What made it worse was that while she had never really considered it before, she now realized that there was nothing she wanted more in the world. Her dream had been shattered before she'd even had the chance to dream.

She wiped the tears from her eyes with her one hand, her other still holding the ring box. Then she carefully removed the ring with two fingers and placed the box on the coffee table in front of her. She closed her eyes and slowly slid the ring onto the fourth finger of her left hand, knowing that she would never love another the way she loved James.

* * *

Okay, so there it is. There will be one more story to go with them. And can someone tell me why I always seem to get inspiration to write when I'm supposed to be studying for exams?


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